(L-R: Brenden and younger brother Tyler)

 

Brenden Decker's love and passion for sports did not make him unique.

 

It was, however, a big part of what made him special.

 

In fact, if there's one word that stood out to me while listening to a great number of friends and family members talk about Brenden at the visitation and funeral held in remembrance of him, it was that one particular word: special.

 

Everyone who inhabits this planet is unique - not everyone is special.

 

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When Brenden, a former student of mine at Sir John A. MacDonald in Waterloo, died mid-winter of this year at the age of 27, I wasn't just surprised - I was shocked.

 

I had no idea he was ill, let alone in danger of dying.

 

However, after developing pneumonia and being hospitalized here in town, Brenden was sent to a hospital in Toronto. Complications from autoimmune issues grew worse until, to the surprise of all, he passed away on January 14 - a mere five weeks after first feeling unwell.

 

His passing left his family and his friends (and trust me, he had many) heartbroken.

 

But this is not a column about how Brenden Decker died. It's a column about how Brenden Decker lived.

 

It's also an illustration of how sports - that wonderful pastime so many of us enjoy on one level or another - brings people together and sometimes bonds them forever.

 

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Three of the people closest to Brenden were his younger brother Tyler and two of his best buddies Brett MacFarlane and Chris Paola (Brenden had a great number of very close friends - it was just the kind of guy he was).

 

I had the pleasure of knowing all three of these gentlemen. Along with Brenden, they were all students of mine at SJAM and/or part of the Highlanders football program when I was coaching there.

 

They were also part of a larger collection of students, male and female, who went through the school at that time who I thought were (and here's that word again)…special.

 

As a group, they were intelligent, diligent and driven.

 

But they were also fun-loving, fun to be around and, well, funny. In fact, damn funny.

 

And Brenden, with his trademark quick wit, snappy comebacks and sometimes sarcastic tone, was the unofficial leader of the clan in that regard.

 

They were creative as hell; pop culture savvy; and sports-crazed almost to a fault - as participants both in and after high school (tennis, touch football, slo-pitch, golf, ball hockey - you name it) and as fans…and by that, I mean FAN-a-tics.

 

For Brenden, it was the Blue Jays in summer, the San Jose Sharks in winter and the St. Louis-turned-Los Angeles Rams in between.

 

MacFarlane vividly remembers meeting his future best pal at school one day.

 

"Being a Sharks fan from Waterloo, I always felt isolated from my friends growing up. Everyone I knew was either a Leafs, Canadiens or Avalanche fan. Then I met the guy who would turn out to be my best friend in a grade nine math class."

 

"One fateful day, I wore my San Jose Sharks jersey to school to celebrate the historic Joe Thornton trade. I'll never forget the moment that Brenden came up to me and asked 'are you a Sharks fan?' "

 

"I didn't believe him at first. Who could be as crazy as me to cheer for this team that was over 2,500 miles away. But after questioning him, I quickly realized he knew far more than I did about the Sharks. From that day on, we were inseparable."

 

That special connection that some friends develop because of sports - especially when they cheer for the same team - is something MacFarlane misses dearly.

 

"I don't think I'll ever have that same connection with anyone ever again. Watching the playoffs this year left me with a sense of emptiness because I no longer had someone to text until 2 a.m. in the morning to breakdown the entire Sharks game."

 

"And while I leapt out of my seat when the Sharks had their historic comeback against Las Vegas, it wasn't the same without having him here."

 

"That's something I'll forever miss" says MacFarlane, "but I know that he'll always be watching the game with me somewhere."

 

For Paola, Brenden's other best buddy, the list of special memories shared through sports is endless but a couple that were especially memorable occurred while attending games of their beloved Toronto Blue Jays.

 

"To this day, the best sporting moment of my entire life was when Brenden and I witnessed the Edwin Encarnacion walk-off home run against Baltimore to win the 2016 ALDS wild card game and then move onto the next series against Texas."

 

"The other one came shortly after when we were at the game when Josh Donaldson slid into home to win and sweep those very same Rangers."

 

But for Paola, as it was for so many other friends, the sports bonding with Brenden extended beyond just being a spectator.

 

"The endless golf tournaments, tennis trips, hockey games, slo-pitch rituals, road hockey classics - the list goes on."

 

"One of my favourites was in 2012 when we formed a team with a number of SJAM alumni and won the ball hockey championship."

 

"Brenden, Tyler and I formed a 'bash brother' line. It's the only recreational sports trophy Brenden and I ever won together so it will always hold a special place in my heart."

 

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As brothers, Brenden and Tyler were close anyway. But after their mother passed away five years ago, never more so.

 

When Kim Schiebel was first diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, the prognosis was not very good. Five years to survive was a best-case scenario. She defied the odds and lived another seventeen.

 

"There's no way I'm dying before my boys are self-sufficient" was her motivational mantra. Brenden and Tyler, her sons from her first marriage, were just two and four years old at the time of her initial diagnosis.

 

"Brenden was always that kind of  big brother that younger siblings look up to anyway" says Tyler. "But after my mom died, I guess we developed a 'stick-together' mentality even more so."

 

"As the years went on, he helped me with everything: school stuff, banking, problem-solving, whatever."

 

Just like MacFarlane and Paola, Brenden was Tyler's best friend.

 

In addition to doing some extensive travelling together (everything from New Orleans and Nashville to continental Europe), the Decker brothers bonded even more so through - you guessed it - sports.

 

"One of my favorite sporting memories with my brother was when we were able to see our two favorite NFL teams square off - the Steelers and the Rams."

 

"Brenden was the biggest Rams fan around. He stuck with them through all those bad years - and trust me, there were a lot of them."

 

"Back in 2015, we flew down to St. Louis for a weekend vacation to explore the city and then go to Sunday's game and see who would walk away with the $20 from our friendly bet."

 

"It was actually a pretty boring game (12-6 victory for the Steelers) but the atmosphere itself and being there with Brenden made it into something I’ll never forget. This will always be my favorite sporting memory with him."

 

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When Brenden passed, I posted some of my own reflections about him on Facebook.

 

One thing I said was that although Brenden wasn't someone I saw in person very often (although we did golf together a couple of times after he graduated), I thought of him as a sort of kindred spirit.

 

Through the thick and thin years, we both cheered for the Rams and the Blue Jays; we both loved watching grand slam tennis (Brenden even wrote for an online tennis magazine - and was very good, btw); we both fell in love with the law (I taught it at the high school level and he earned his Masters in law degree at Cleveland State); we were both unabashedly proud to be geeky pop culture fanatics and trivia-lovers; and we both enjoyed witty comebacks - even the sarcastic kind.

 

We mostly stayed in touch through Twitter and Facebook - often sharing thoughts, critical or otherwise, about television, movies, comedians on tour and, of course, sports.

 

Just this week, I asked Tyler, Brett and Chris (and some others while I was at the visitation) what it was that they thought made Brendan so special.

 

The universal answer I received was twofold:

 

i) Brenden loved to laugh and have fun…and he loved to see other people laugh and have fun.

 

ii) Brenden had so many friends - close friends - because when you were with him, he made you feel special. And he made you feel like your relationship with him was one-of-a-kind.

 

Which, of course, it was.

 

Brenden's passing wasn't just a loss for his family (my condolences to all, especially Scott, Stephani, Brittany, Terry & Shelly) and his many friends. It was a loss for our entire community.

 

Why?

 

Because Brenden Decker was that guy who would have made a difference either through his work (he was part of the legal department at Sun Life) or his play (organizing recreational sports teams, road trips or future backyard barbeques).

 

He would have been the guy who let you off the elevator first; the neighbour who always lent you his lawn mower; the stranger beside you at a sports bar who went out of his way to pass you the peanuts and then share a moment, probably humourus.

 

He was also the potential parent who might have raised a family - with great kids who also loved to laugh out loud and make others do the same.

 

Rest easy, my friend.

 

The Rams didn't quite win the Super Bowl this year and the Sharks didn't quite make it to the Stanley Cup.

 

But every time Wimbledon comes around, the Jays (or Gibby's Finest slo-pitch team) have a late-game rally, the Oscars get it wrong or a playoff puck drops, we'll be thinking of you.